Homeschooling Helper
from the editors of Homeschooling Today® magazine
December 11, 2006 - Volume 7, Number 7

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A Life Poured Out

By Amy Howard

A life poured out is the richest, most satisfying life for which one could hope. Jesus said it best: "If you lose your life for my sake you will find it" (Matthew 10:39, 16:25; Mark 8:35; Luke 9:24, NKJV).

I contemplated this on the way home from meeting with a newly engaged friend. I reflected upon some of the advice I had so willingly dished out to her: "Pour out your life — every last drop — for this is of Christ." OK, so maybe I didn't say it quite so eloquently, but it makes a good synopsis. And it got me thinking and re-evaluating how clearly I think this way as a homeschooling mom.

To Die is Gain

The culture wants me to believe that to "be more, have more, do more" will satisfy and somehow elevate my existence to some state of euphoric bliss. But having spent so much of my life grasping after these things, I've learned the truth. When I have truly given that last shred of myself and know that I have nothing left to offer, I find myself…in Christ.

There are so many little snippets of my life in which this bears out and I must be diligent in prayer to see these as the opportunities they are, rather than squandering the gift I have been given in those moments to invest in the eternal:

My three-year-old daughter has been emotionally draining all morning. When naptime comes around, it would be so easy to lay her down quickly and go take my own nap or have some "me time" to recuperate from the drama of the morning. But what she really needs is for me to hold her, reassure her of my love, and tell her that it will never go away. I hold her close and tell her all of the things I love about her. I lightly trace her face with the tip of my finger and pray a prayer of thanks to the Lord for giving her to me before finally laying her down with a sense that she is understood and loved, not only by Mommy, but by Jesus also.
My sons have concocted another battle plan to which I must listen right now , rather than spend some time resting, listening to classical music, and reading a good novel to "escape" for a while from all of my boys' rambunctiousness. I listen, reluctantly at first because this is the tenth battle plan they have shared with me today, but then — after saying a silent prayer for the Lord's grace to see me through — my attitude changes to truly being interested in what they are describing and realize afterward that they feel love and acceptance from me when I simply take the time to listen.
It's time to make dinner again. I am tempted to ask if we can just go get a quick meal at the local junk food establishment, rather than taking the time to think through a new delicious and nutritious recipe that will feed my family far more economically, in addition to boosting their health and well-being. After making the meal with one of my children and enjoying conversation with my family, I realize that we are building relationships around our family meal table rather than running all over town and paying way too much to "fill" our stomachs with food that is over-processed and has lost most of its nutritional value before it even reaches our table. My family feels loved and well-cared for now.

What is the common temptation for me in all of these scenarios? Selfishness. Selfishness is a common, yet, heinous sin. It rips our lives and families apart. As a homeschooling mom, I can feel that I "deserve a break" more than others. After all, I am with these children all the time . There are so many times each day when I am called to tend to others' needs rather than my own.

I must admit, there have been times when I have thrown myself an all out pity party. When I come to my senses and repent, I usually discover the problem is that my vision is clouded and in desperate need of refocusing on the eternal, rather than the temporal.

Becoming Real

One of my favorite children's stories is The Velveteen Rabbit . This rabbit was given to a boy as a Christmas gift, all freshly sewn, with new fabric, new buttons for eyes, and new thread to hold him together. He was beautiful and the boy took him as a substitute for his other favorite toy which had been lost. The rabbit snuggled with the boy when he was very ill, but was then left out in the rain due to the boy's carelessness. After giving so much joy to his owner, he was ripped and torn, and all of his fluff was coming out at the seams. Yet, it is precisely at the moment of feeling that he is beyond repair and rather dilapidated that the fairy appears and makes him "real."

But, what actually made the Velveteen Rabbit real? It was the boy's love for him. And why did the boy love him so? Was it because the rabbit could do all the latest tricks; provide the newest gadgets; or was rich, important, and lauded by so many others? No, to the contrary, the boy loved the rabbit because he gave of himself "to his own hurt" (Psalm 15:4). The boy could trust in the rabbit's consistency, comfort, and companionship. And this is where the rabbit found true life.

It is the same with us.

To Live is Christ

The biblical principle of losing your life for Christ's sake applies to giving of ourselves for our families. O, the depths of God's love I would never have known were it not for His giving me so much to do that I have precious little time to tend to self! It is when I leave self far behind — when I lose it — that I find life in its most broad, grand, deep, and luxuriant richness.

However, I must constantly check the motivations of my heart. Why do I want the house clean for the holidays? Is it for the health and enjoyment of my family and guests or so that I can impress others with my domestic prowess? If it is the latter, you can bet that when I involve the children in the cleaning, I am going to be a slave-driver. If it is the former, I will be patient in my children's imperfect attempts to help me. The motivations of my heart must be examined on a continual basis to ensure that I am glorifying the Lord with all I think, say, and do.

I must talk of these things with my children as well. They must never think that Mommy is perfect. There are plenty of times they see me make mistakes or flat out sin in my selfishness. It is at these times that I must repent and ask their forgiveness. But, they must also see me pray and rely upon the Lord for the grace I need to be the wife and mother I am called to be.

All of this is living faith out loud for my children. This is what I have come to believe the Lord is truly after when He calls each of us to take on the role of homeschooling mother.

This is socialization at its finest. When we set the example, as well as teach and train our children in selflessness, we are creating a better citizenry. Can anyone honestly say, "All this world needs is more selfish people? That will solve everything!?" A quick lesson in world history will show that all those who have wreaked havoc on our world had one common denominator: the love of self.

For me, being in the Lord's hand has become enough. I have learned to allow the Lord to tend to my needs, rather than trying to hunt for "me time." His grace is truly sufficient. We all have the choice to live or die. Or, to put it another way, we all have the opportunity to die, and then live… and to teach our children the same.

I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days… (Deut. 30:19-20a)

Amy Howard is a contributing editor and the bride of the new Editor-in-Chief of Homeschooling Today , Jim Bob Howard, and homeschooling mother to four precious blessings. Contrary to what this article may lead you to believe, she does get time to curl up with a good book and a cup of tea… occasionally.

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