Raising Children to be More Faithful
The room was tense, and there was an uneasy silence. Kevin’s sharp eyes searched the face of his son, Michael. Michael was no longer a little boy. He had become a godly man. Suddenly, a smile spread across Kevin’s face as he leaned back in his chair. “What hath God wrought?” he said. “I taught you to think according to the Scriptures, and now you have come to teach me a way more perfect. You may be right, son; I will have to study the matter and discuss it with you later.” Michael gave a sigh of relief and said, “I should have known that would be your response.”
For many parents, the thought of their children challenging their beliefs or way of life is unnerving, even discouraging; but it is a great blessing if the challenge is to think or live more biblically. In some ways, this is the goal of Christian homeschooling. We want our children to be more faithful than we have been. Our hope is that they will be able to stand on our shoulders and see further than we have seen.
If we are wrong or inconsistent in our understanding of the Scriptures and our children are seeing things more clearly, this is cross-generational sanctification. We should rejoice.
How can we train our children to go beyond us? What can we do to equip them to be more faithful than we have been? I encourage you to adopt what I believe is the goal of Christian education: to embrace a mindset toward the Scriptures that will change your life, and to employ a simple educational method that will enable you to equip your children for lives of greater faithfulness. My hope is that this will result in cross-generational sanctification—children who grow up to be more thoroughly biblical in their thinking and way of life.
Embrace the Goal of Education: Wisdom
In order to train our children in a way that enables them to go beyond us, we must first adopt the biblical goal of education, which is wisdom and understanding. “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7, NKJV). The goal of education is not to teach our children all kinds of facts and information. The goal is not to get our kids into a good college or to get them a good job. The goal is not to check off the particular state requirements for high school graduation. The goal of education is godly wisdom and understanding.
If our children are to gain wisdom and understanding, they must learn how to think. More particularly, they must learn how to think according to the Scriptures, the source of true wisdom. “For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6, NKJV). Since God’s Word is the source of true wisdom, it must be central to the education of our children, permeating everything they study. They must learn how to evaluate all of life in light of the principles found in the Scriptures, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). We must not lose sight of this. If our children graduate, go to college, and get a good job, but do not get biblical wisdom and understanding, then we have failed.
Submit to the Whole Word of God
Millions of evangelical Christians in this country have devotions, attend church, and profess that the Bible is the Word of God, but the Scriptures have very little impact on their thinking or way of life. Their attitude toward the Word of God is incredibly arrogant. When it comes right down to it, they only believe parts of the Bible and are quite embarrassed by many of its teachings.
Contrary to this arrogant attitude toward the Scriptures, we must embrace everything that we find in the Word of God. If we come upon a text that bothers us, the problem is not with the Bible, the problem is with us. We must submit to the Word of God no matter what it says. Complete submission to the Bible is necessary if we and our children are to grow in sanctification through the generations. It is by the word of truth that we are sanctified (John 17:17), and if we reject the parts of the Word of God that challenge our thinking or way of life, we will not be sanctified by that truth.
Approach the Bible as a Blueprint for Life
Furthermore, the Scriptures must become our practical guide and blueprint for all of life. We must come to the Bible with the attitude of building our lives upon the truths that we find there. Bible study is a time for us to get directions about how we ought to think, how we ought to act, and even how we ought to feel. God’s Word is the standard by which we evaluate everything in life.
In Deuteronomy 32:46–47, Moses said to Israel: “Set your hearts on all the words which I testify among you today, which you shall command your children to be careful to observe—all the words of this law. For it is not a futile thing for you, becauseit is your life, and by this word you shall prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to possess.” The words of God are to guide us in every detail of our lives. They must be our life.
If we approach the Bible with a willingness to submit to whatever we find there and treat the Word of God as a blueprint for life, it will transform us. The way we spend our money, how we vote, the music we enjoy, and the priorities that we have will all be shaped by the Bible’s teaching. We will be sanctified by the Word of truth.
Jesus said, “A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher” (Luke 6:40, NKJV). Since this is the case, parents cannot expect their children to grow beyond them in sanctification if they do not embrace this mindset toward the Scriptures and encourage their children to do the same. If parents are not being sanctified by the truth, then the children they disciple will not go beyond them. This verse may make some readers question the whole goal of this article. Jesus said that a disciple cannot rise above his teacher. However, this apparent contradiction provides an opportunity to make a vital point. We do not want our children to remain our disciples. The goal is that they become disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. The only way they can become more faithful than we have been is to submit to the Word of God and approach it as a blueprint for life. In other words, Christ must become their teacher.
Equipping Our Children to Go Beyond Us: A Simple Method
The Early Years: Indoctrination
In the early years of education, parents should be about the business of indoctrination. Children should be taught the truth of God’s Word and a biblical way of life. They should not be left to figure out things for themselves. Children should be told what to believe, how to act, and even how to feel about things. At this stage, reading, especially the reading of the Bible, should be the highest priority.
I don’t want to say much more about this stage of education, but only emphasize one vital skill that must be developed in these years if children are to achieve the goal of wisdom and understanding. They must become excellent readers. The development of this skill is more important than almost anything else they are taught.
In the younger years we should not expect them to be able to defend the doctrines of the faith or think critically about things. We are indoctrinating them. We are teaching them what to believe and filling their minds with all kinds of good information. Unfortunately, many methods of education never get beyond the information stage. From grammar school to graduation, children’s minds are filled with information and facts. They are never taught how to think, but only told what to think. If we want our children to surpass us in faithfulness, we must get beyond indoctrination and teach them how to think biblically.
The Later Years: Education Using Two Books
The method I advocate for educating your teenage children can be illustrated by the figure of a man holding two books in his hands. In his right hand he holds the Bible, and in his left hand he holds the book that he happens to be studying. He reads the book in his left hand in light of the book in his right hand. The Bible is the standard by which he evaluates everything. He is not a passive learner, but an active seeker of wisdom. When the book he is reading is consistent with the teaching of Scripture, he affirms the truth with a hearty “Amen.” When the book he is reading challenges his thinking, he goes to the Bible and studies the subject in more detail, evaluating everything in light of the Scriptures.
Using the Western Canon and the Canon of Scripture
An important part of educating our older children is a systematic reading of the influential books of Western Civilization: books that make up what is often called the Western Canon. The methodology is pretty simple. We read the book, then debate and discuss the issues that arise from the reading. One benefit of reading the Western Canon is that just about every issue you would ever want to discuss is addressed in these books. These great works of history, literature, philosophy, and theology become the fodder for amazingly fruitful discussions.
As I read a book, I write down questions that I think need to be answered. Most of these questions do not require factual answers. I do not ask my children to give me information about the reading. My questions are intended to provoke thought and conversation. Remember, at this stage in their education the primary goal is not to give them more information, but to teach them to think biblically. After our lively discussion of the book, my children are assigned a question to research on their own. They are expected to answer the question according to the Scriptures. Following are two examples of how this is done.
In the Iliad we encounter the practice of burning the dead—cremation. So I ask whether this is a legitimate practice for Christians. Is it lawful for Christians to burn their dead? Using the Bible, a concordance, a topical Bible dictionary, and other available tools, the children undertake their study. They are to develop a case for or against the practice of cremation and present their case at our next meeting.
In the early stages they need to be taught to use these tools to search the Bible for answers, but eventually they are expected to do the research on their own.
When I ask these questions, I don’t tell my children my position on the issue, though they often have a pretty good idea. They are expected to come to their own conclusions and develop their own arguments based upon their understanding of the Bible. When they bring their answers, the debate and discussion begins in earnest. They make their case for or against cremation, and I cross-examine them. Sometimes they cross-examine one another. By this means we all learn to think, and we learn to think according to the Scriptures.
In reading Augustine’s Confessions, we find that he advocates the single life as one superior to married life. So I ask whether this kind of thinking is biblical. The children go to work with Augustine in their left hand and the Bible in their right. What does the Bible say about singleness and married life? Should they aspire to marriage? I have definite opinions about this, and they are contrary to Augustine’s. However, the children are left to study the issue on their own. In doing this they are developing the skills needed to grow in wisdom and understanding.
In four to six years of this kind of study, children will get plenty of practice searching the Scriptures for answers to the difficult questions of life. The Word of God will become the established authority to which they look for answers to all their questions. They will be equipped to grow in wisdom and understanding. By God’s grace, Christ will truly become their teacher, and they will be more faithful than we have been.
The Dangers of this Method
There is a danger in going beyond indoctrination and teaching our children to align their thoughts and lives with the teaching of Scripture. Our children could come to different convictions than our own. They might even come to conclusions we don’t like.
If our children adopt a position that is contrary to Scripture, we must be ready to make a biblical case that refutes their erroneous conclusion. The Bible requires us to be ready to give a defense of our faith to everyone who asks, and this includes our own children (1 Peter 3:15).
If, however, we can’t defend our position, then we have to be open to the possibility that we are wrong. If we are wrong or inconsistent in our understanding of the Scriptures and our children are seeing things more clearly, this is cross-generational sanctification. We should rejoice. What a glorious day when our children challenge us to be more consistent in our doctrine and way of life. What a blessing when our children see our errors and show us a way more perfect.
In conclusion, the goal of education is to raise children who submit themselves to every word that proceeds from the mouth of God, who embrace the Bible as the blueprint for a rich and abundant life, and who are characterized by godly wisdom and understanding. May the Holy Spirit make our endeavors fruitful to the end that our children are more faithful than we have been.